


Somewhere in your nights you're stuck when you think of me

by Here4LarryFics



Series: Uni AU [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Almost forgot to add that, Angst, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, but give it a chance?, honestly idk what this is, this is sad I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:21:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Here4LarryFics/pseuds/Here4LarryFics
Summary: "So here he was, on this couch staring at the same spot on the wall he has been since he told Harry to leave. He just. He just need time to think. To process what happened. And how he got here."A sad lil drabble.





	Somewhere in your nights you're stuck when you think of me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. So. This is my first time posting anything. So you should maybe lower your standards. This obviously isn't going to be super great but ya gotta start somewhere right? 
> 
> And maybe if someone likes it I'll add to it? Or post something else? Who knows. This possibilities are endless..except they really aren't.
> 
> Anywho, I hope you enjoy this sad lil thing! It made me feel a little better to write this, so I hope nobody hates it.
> 
>  
> 
> Ps - This now has a super long prequel

This shouldn’t be happening, this _couldn’t_ be happening. He thought that he’d been one half of the healthiest, most open and honest relationship. And yet. Here he was, sitting here on this God awful couch that Harry insisted they buy because “it’s the perfect vibe Lou! Come on, can’t you see us on this couch on a Saturday afternoon in joggers with a cuppa watching love island” and well, who could say no to that? Not a person with a heart, or eyes that could see how lovely Harry looked.

So here he was, on this couch staring at the same spot on the wall he has been since he told Harry to leave. He just. He just need time to think. To process what happened. And how he got here.

“Louis, I never wanted to do this. I never wanted this to happen” Harry said nervously. Eyes flitting around the house that they’d so carefully designed together. Because that’s what you do when you settle down with the person you love. You build your life together, or so Louis thought.

“What are you talking about Harry” Louis cut off suspiciously, he didn’t like the way this was going and he didn’t want to wait any longer to figure out what Harry was trying and failing to say. “I…Lou I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, in the worst way possible. I fucked up in the way I promised, the way I swore I never would.” He’d started sniffling half way through, and Louis knew. He knew but he needed to hear it. Hear his single greatest fear explicitly laid out to him. “Baby, I need you to understand that this…this was a mistake. I never and I mean _never_ planned on this happening. But I..I slept with someone. And I don’t even know why! Why would I..how could I do this to the single most important person in my life. The person I fall asleep staring at at night, the person who I wake up and get to kiss first thing in the morning. The man who has given me everything I could ever want in this life. The man who has supported me when I didn’t believe in myself and loved me when I couldn’t love myself. You were, you are everything to me. It’s been weeks and I still can’t figure out why I did it. I’m not doubting us, I know that you’re it for me. But…but someone else, someone else was there and I just…forgot about everything. Forgot about what I had at home, about who I had at home.”

And that’s when Louis started staring at the wall. It was kinda soothing, the oh so faint blue tint of the paint on the walls gave him something to focus on. “Lou, baby, can you…can you say something? Can you tell me how you’re feeling. I need to know. Please. I need to know. I can’t… I just. Please Lou, tell me what can I do?” Louis could hear how close he was to becoming hysterical and for the first time since he’s known Harry, he didn’t care.

A few pregnant, heavy pauses passed before Louis found his voice, “What…what do you want me to say? What can I say at this point? You’ve gone and done haven’t you. You’ve hurt me in the worst way, the way I knew you would. I knew something as good as you couldn’t be mine forever. And I was right.” he finished softly.

“Louis, Louis baby what do you mean? Of course I’m yours. I’m always yours yea? I know..I know that it sounds hard to believe me but Louis you have to understand that this didn’t change anything for me. You’re still it for me. I know I just, I know I fucked up. I fucked up so bad but baby you know that you’re still the love of my life. I still want all those things we talked about yea? The nice modern flat with big windows and a reading nook and a kitchen with a nice island that you can sit on while you watch me cook? A dog, maybe a cat or a parrot, I don’t know Louis! I don’t know! But I know I want it with you! I want everything that happens for the rest of my life to be with you! Please tell me you believe me. Please baby, I can’t do this without you.”

Louis started at him, started at the man in front of him who was supposed to be his forever. And Harry was right, he did want all of those but, “I can’t”. He’d said it so softly Harry would have missed it had he not been staring at Louis so hard Louis could feel the sadness radiating from him. And yea Louis felt the sadness, but it was only a mere acknowledgment compared to the all encompassing hurt Louis was feeling in each and every corner of his body at the moment. “Harry I..I can’t. I don’t know what you’re expected from me. You know better than anyone how I’m feeling right now. You’ve known for years how I’ve felt like this was always gonna happen to me. I never knew how but I knew the other shoe has been waiting to drop for 3 years.”

Harry had given up his position on the other side of the couch to rush to knees directly in front of Louis “Louis Louis baby, baby what are you saying? What do you mean, what do you mean you can’t. Can’t what baby” Tears had gathered in the dip at the base of Harry’s neck, and even now Louis thought about how he can see all of his dreams in this boy. “Harry. I can’t, we can’t. You can tell me I’m the one for you all you want but that’s clearly not true if you can even entertain the idea of being with someone else. I can’t, God Harry it’s been years since I’ve even taken a second glance at a guy. How could I when I knew I had the absolute man of my dreams waiting for me at home? But you, you couldn’t feel the same. It’s not possible to feel the way I do and do something like this. I can’t even..”

Harry had broken by the time he’d heard the first “can’t”but he waited until Louis had finished to let a sob rip out of his throat. A deep dark corner of Louis briefly wondered if Harry was doing this in hopes that his natural need to fix everything would take over and he’d console Harry the way he usually does. But for the second time in Louis’ life since Harry, he doesn’t care. “Harry, stop. Stop this. You’ve done..enough. I really don’t think it’s going to help either of us if you sit here and sob on my lap. You need..you to leave. I want you to leave. You can come back some other time. To get your things. I just. I just need you leave. Right now.” His voice was steadily rising as he talked, some of the feeling returning to his body, but just enough to get that out. He didn’t have much left in him before he imploded and he’d like to be alone when that happens. He doesn’t need to give Harry another reason to feel bad. Louis is sure he feels bad. Louis is also sure that doesn’t change anything either.

At this point Harry had began whimpering his name over and over again, like a prayer. Surprisingly, Louis took pity on him. He used the sleeve to wipe the tears from Harry’s cheeks and even dab his nose a little bit. “Harry, Harry I don’t hate you. I never will, honestly I don’t think I ever could. But that doesn’t…that doesn’t mean we’re ok Harry. This isn’t ok Harry. I can’t, I can’t get over this. We can’t work through this because there’s nothing to work through. You’ve done a horrible thing, regardless to the fact that you did this horrible thing to _me_ , it was horrible and you need to deal with the repercussions. We’re done. It’s that simple. Yes I love you and some of the best moments in my life have been with you but that doesn’t change anything. You’ve lied to me, you’ve broken my trust and honestly I’m ashamed of you. You know better than anyone how I feel about cheaters,” Louis watches Harry fold into himself after hearing the word “you know _why_ I feel the way I do about cheaters. And here we are. You’re just as bad as him, as all of them actually. And yea I’ve meet some shitty people in my time but a year ago, hell an hour ago I would have never thought you’d be one of them. But here we are.” Louis was approaching the end of his patience so he needed to speed this process along. So he stood up brushing Harry off from where his face was mere inches away from his legs and hoping in vain to brush away some of these feelings, some of the pain. He carefully walked towards the door, turned to face Harry and raised his eyebrows in hopes that his face was giving off “please leave now” vibes opposed to the “get out get out get out here before I lose my mind” feeling that had been playing on loop in his head since Harry opened his mouth.

After a few seconds of holding his gaze Harry finally stood up, eyes wet and empty, and shuffled towards the door. Once he was within arms reach he hesitated and a beat passed before locking eyes with Louis, “Bab-“ he started but Louis sharply cut him off “Don’t. Don’t you _dare_ call me _anything_. Leave Harry. Now!”.

Seconds passed, the air was electric. Charged with all the unsaid words and hurt feelings bouncing around the room. A shiver passed through Harry before he seemed to find himself again, “I’m sorry Louis” he muttered quietly, ashamed. “I’m so sorry I turned out to be everything you were so afraid of. I’m sorry that I hurt you in the worst way, I’m sorry that I proved you right. You never..you’re the last person that ever deserves this and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I..I’ll always love you Louis. Always. And I’ll spend everyday of the rest of my life regretting the fact that I failed showing you. You are..Louis you are everything to me. And I just. Please know that I love you Louis, so much. Never forget that.” he finished weakly, couldn’t bear to look at Louis while he admitted that he’d become Louis’ biggest fear. That was something he needed to deal with, something he knew he was going to be dealing with for a long, long time.

“Harry, I won’t say it again. You need to leave.” Louis was just about out of patience so he just took matters into his own hands. Slowly, he turned and opened the door and moved out of the way. Harry fianally took the hint and shuffled out the door. Louis closed it without a word, without a second glance or a second thought.

It was over. It was done.


End file.
